Everything's Coming Up Roses

I promised in a previous post that I would post some pictures (although they could be better ones) of roses blooming in my yard and then use the song title Everything's Coming Up Roses as the title. I had to go on YouTube and listen to it before I started typing this out. One of my favorites is Angela Lansbury clip from 1975 and then when she opened the 1989 Tony Awards with it and brought down the house. I love that song and at some point in my life not too too long ago when I was going through a slump/downtime, I found that song and a bunch of other Broadway stuff on YouTube and listened to them a lot. For example, another one that I listened to a lot was from the 2010 Kennedy Center Honors in the musical performances honoring Jerry Herman. I hope someday to take my mom to a Broadway show in New York because we have always talked about it. I have seen some Broadway shows but after they were off Broadway, and I mean way, way off Broadway, like in another state.

This was also when I discovered the old game show, What's My Line from the 1950s and 1960s and in particular the mystery guest parts in which a famous celebrity and the panel would all be blindfolded and have to guess who it was. This is when I really noticed Laruen Bacall from when she went on to promote How to Marry a Millionaire in 1953. She was beautiful and even dare I say, sultry. Anyway, this led me to at one point buying a DVD set with the 4 movies that she and Humphrey Bogart starred in together. Some of these were very sexy as well and full of double entedres which I thought was quite something for the late 1940s and early 1950s. In addition, to the fact that a lot of these were film noir movies that are a bit confusing and hard to follow, but that isn't the point in a lot of ways. These movies made me feel like this genre is old black and white movies, the plot is not the focus, but the insight you get from the characters' viewpoints and a whole lot of sexiness. I am not sure if I explained that well, but there was a good time period when it seemed like I was watching a lot of Broadway songs and old game shows with celebrities from the 1950s and 1960s in and it was comforting.

These two pictures above are from two native plants that I bought and planted last year and this year they are flowering. The first picture is of Beardtongue flowers and the second picture is Lance-leaved Coreopsis that are bright pops of sunshine alone the fence.

I want to talk about a musical artist that I have recently discovered that I now love, but feel like I need to give a little context first. If you didn't know, my faith and belief in Jesus is very important to me and last year a little after my 40th birthday I discovered this man named Tim Mackie who is the lead scholar and, descirbes himself as a Bible Nerd,for this non-profit organization called The Bible Project. I listen to their podcasts and watch their videos and it has been so illuminating and like I nerd out too with a lot of the really cool and deep stuff they go into with the texts from the Bible. Even if you are not a Christian or know a lot about the Bible, I bet you would still find some of it interesting. I wish I had discovered it sooner and feel like this has been something I have been missing in my life this type of depth and explanation that often shatters some of my previous held views or things I have been taught about the Bible. Anyway, last week in their podcast they mentioned a singer, Liz Vice and of course, what did I do? I looked up her stuff on YouTube and wow! She is a Christian singer, but like in the style of R&B and has done a lot of songs around social justice issues, which is awesome! One of my favorite songs right now that makes me feel happy is her song Empty Me Out, which isn't new, but it is great. Look it up!

I have started writing my next novel and the continuation of Clark's life from Betty and Clark and quickly realized that it is going to be a lot different than I expected. I know that sounds weird since I am the writer, but I never know until I get into it. I quickly realized that his novel has to take place in the future like starting at 2039 and the effects of climate change are a fundamental part of the story. I have never set out to write a dystopian novel (and I don't think this is one), but the importance of writing this from the viewpoint that we aren't doing enough and with other factors that this has to be acknowledged. I am not sure where it is going to end up at this point, if it's any good or if I even like it that much at this point, but I find this quote on Pinterest the other day that seeme right on target for my current position:

"Writing is like driving at night in the fog. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way." -E.L. Doctorow

So, I am continuing to write and it just seems to come as I start to fill up the current notebook, but it very much feels like I'm in thick fog.

Other news, the colleagues that I worked with this past academic year on a project around ChatGPT was successful and went well. We ended up winning a $1,000 to split for professional development purposes at a teaching and learning festival in which we presented our project. We are currently working on submitting a proposal for the 2025 TESOL Convention in Long Beach, CA next March. I hope we get accepted, but plan on going anyway (as of now, I still have not ever been to California). I just wish Yena's spring break was at the same time and then we could all try to go, but things never work out that way. However, I still have a lot of hesitation and concerns about AI and ChatGPT and sometimes feel like as teachers by doing all of this research and trainings with ChatGPT that we are hastening our own demise as language teachers.

Zoe and I recently had a conversation about this and the 64 million dollar question arised, What are you going to do when AI basically makes your job/career obsolete? I don't have a good answer for that right now. I have thought about this before and things that I have though of include that I need to learn how to code, but then I think what would that do because AI can already do that now and at this point all college freshmen seem to know at least basic coding. I feel like I would need to go back to school or find a very unique professional niche that I can fill. These are questions though that need to be thought of deeply and more now though before it is already too late.

Okay, I'll try to end on some brighter notes, but first another important thing to say since May is Mental Health Awareness Month and since one of my jobs is working the 988 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, I want to remind anyone reading this that if you are ever having any thoughts of suicide, going through a tough time, or having a really bad day and feel like you don't have anyone to talk to, don't hesitate and please pick up the phone and dial 988. There is always someone on the line that you can talk to and try to help no matter your age, gender, race, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status; please call if you need it!

Since I work on the line, this does not make me immune to my own mental health struggles at times. Our CEO has said and is always saying that if we are working in this job, then we should all be in therapy or getting support. I have only done therapy twice before a couple of years ago, and it did help. I have decided to do it again, but quickly found out that it is hard to find a male counselor who isn't completely booked and in-person counseling is not an option. I guess I am old school, but I would have liked to have met with someone one-on-one in an office instead of an appointment via Zoom, which is what I have scheduled in a couple of weeks. I need to start thinking about what I actually want to talk about and get accomplished from this, but more than anything it has just been on my mind for the past month or so that I just need a check-up in a sense and someone to just help me feel like I am doing okay and possibly give me some new insights about myself to think about. I think that we all need the encouragement, the access, and the normalization of taking care of your mental health just like we do for our physical health. The idea that we should schedule at least an annual meeting with a therapist just to check-in like a check-up and know that it is this nonjudgmental and safe space for you to truly talk about yourself. After saying all of this though, I acknowledge that I am still a bit nervous and anxious about meeting with a counselor again and how this might go.

Finally, my garden is doing well. I have 12 tomato plants, 4 ground cherry plants, a few potato plants, edamome bean seed and cucumber seeds planted as well as some other stuff. I am hoping for a good summer of gardening and promise to share some more pictures and updates later.

As always, take care of yourself and those that you love.